专家点评：

Daniella’s essay is lovely, fun and effective. It genuinely and naturally showcases different sides of her, how she approaches problems, what she values. The mundaneness of the topic fits her conclusion and insights beautifully. She employs humor, shows resilience, creativity, intellectual curiosity and an authentic propensity for philosophical thought. Her “voice” is confident, the word choice creative, and the vocabulary in each paragraph poignantly reflects different sides of her (the scientist “ diared each trial”; the musician tries to create a “rhapsodic dessert” ).

Daniella 的作文可爱、有趣、有效。文章真实自然地展示了她的不同侧面、处理问题的方式以及她的价值观。主题的平凡性与她的结论和见解十分契合。她幽默风趣，表现出坚韧不拔的精神、创造力、求知欲和真正哲学思维方式。她的 “观点 ”充满自信，用词富有创意，每个段落中的词汇都充满诗意地反映了她的不同侧面（科学家 “精心雕琢每一次试验”；音乐家尝试制作 “狂想甜点”）。

The several paragraphs detailing Daniella’s cookie making process are also very strong. She lingers with sensual details that resonate (you can smell, taste and feel those chocolate chunkers) rather than overstuffing the essay with mentions of her various credentials or experiences. This structure is bold, and humble. It allows Daniella to show rather than tell the reader how she thinks, how she solves problems, how she perseveres. This is very powerful.

Daniella详细介绍饼干制作过程的几个段落也非常精彩。她用注入情感的细节描述引起了读者的共鸣（你可以闻到、尝到、感觉到那些巧克力块），而不是在文章中过多地提及她的各种证书或经历。这种结构大胆而谦逊。它让 Daniella 向读者呈现而不是讲述她是如何思考、如何解决问题、如何坚持不懈的。这一点非常有力。

This essay measures 618 words (standard limit is 650). Daniella could have used the additional words to add to paragraph 3: when else did she experienced that similar processes lead to different results – perhaps in music performance? And/or in the next paragraph(s) she might have added a sentence to consider the potential impact of atmospheric conditions on baking, as well as more broadly/metaphorically.

这篇文章的字数为 618 字（标准字数限制为 650 字）。Daniella 可以在第 3 段中补充以下内容：她还在什么时候经历过类似的过程会导致不同的结果--也许是在音乐表演中？或者，在接下来的段落中，她可以添加一个句子来考虑大气条件对烘焙的潜在影响，以及更广义/更具有隐喻的特点。

本文内容来自哈佛大学 The Harvard Crimson我们提供中文翻译