四川英锐国际教育管理有限公司

文书赏析 | 惊艳！哈佛大学2024录取文书公开（第六期）

来源：英锐教育北京| 作者：英锐教育北京 | 发布时间：2024-09-20 | 阅读量：559

专家点评：

Michael’s essay begins with a gripping hook, leaving the reader wondering why he is alone. He reveals his mother's sacrifices and his initial excitement at newfound freedom, which quickly turns into the burden of a lost childhood. The essay effectively uses the routine of their daily phone calls to highlight his deep connection with his mother and the pain of their separation.

Michael的文章以一个扣人心弦的"钩子"开始，这种叙事方式会让读者想知道他为什么是孤独的。文章揭示母亲的自我牺牲和他对获得自由最初的兴奋感变成了失去童年的负担。这篇文章有效地应用对每天通电话的例行公事的日常细节描述，不露痕迹的展现出他与母亲的深厚感情和分离的痛苦。

Michael’s forced independence, unlike the typical chosen independence of college freshmen, emphasizes his resilience and maturity. Despite the emotional toll, he channels his determination into academic excellence, driven by his mother’s sacrifices and his desire to ensure a better future for both of them.

Michael的被迫独立，不同于大学新生通常选择的独立生活，这也突显了他的坚韧和成熟的个性。尽管有精神损耗，但在母亲的牺牲和他为两人创造更美的好未来愿望的驱使下，他将自己的决心转化为优异的学业成绩。

This essay excels in presenting a clear and compelling narrative of personal growth under challenging circumstances beyond one’s control. Michael’s story demonstrates his maturity, resilience, and commitment, qualities that suggest he would thrive in a rigorous academic environment. His motivation and determination show he is not only ready for college but also has the potential to effect positive change in society. These are hallmarks of what Harvard seeks in potential students.

这篇文章出色地清晰地叙述了一个人在无法控制的挑战性环境下引人入胜的个人成长的故事。Michael的故事展示了他的成熟、坚韧和执着，这些品质表明他可以在严格的学术环境中茁壮成长。他的上进心和决心表明，他不仅已经为上大学做好了准备，而且还有为社会带来积极变化的潜力。这些都是哈佛大学寻找学生的潜在标签。