专家点评：

Clara’s essay seamlessly integrates her voice, family history, and current character into a moving and effective narrative. Here’s how:

克拉拉的文章将她的心声、家族历史和当前的人物形象完美地融合在一起，叙事感人，笔下生花。具体分析如下：

She starts with a perfect opening. Through vivid, specific word choice (a nightstand of “glass-eyed specimens”), the essay showcases Clara’s voice and humor (“not a taxidermist”). At the same time, this essay quickly introduces the subject: crocheting.

她的开篇堪称完美。通过生动、具体的选词（栖息在床头柜的“玻璃眼标本 ”），文章展示了克拉拉的写作立场和行文的幽默感（“不是标本剥制师”）。同时，迅速引出这篇文章的主题：钩针编织。

The essay then “zooms out” to raise the stakes. Crocheting isn’t just a hobby: it’s a tradition that sustained Clara’s family through the Vietnam War. While Clara mentions the brutal reality of her family’s experiences, she quickly returns the focus to herself. It’s something many students forget: whatever your past struggles, your essay must be about you now.

随后，文章 “放大 ”了主题。钩针编织不仅仅是她的一个爱好：更是一种家庭传统，支撑着克拉拉一家度过了越南战争。虽然克拉拉提到她的家庭经历过的残酷现实，但很快她又把焦点拉回到了自己身上。很多学生都忘记了这一点：无论你过去经历过什么，你的文章都必须以你的现在为中心。

The essay then gives us insight into her character. Clara won’t be deterred by failure, won’t quit because something’s tough. By focusing on her attempts to improve her crocheting skills, Clara displays the maturity, perseverance, and self-awareness often missing from application essays.

这篇文章让我们了解了她的性格。克拉拉不会因为失败而退缩，不会因为困难而放弃。克拉拉将注意力集中在她为提高钩针技艺所付出的不懈努力，在申请文章中表现出经常缺少的成熟、坚毅和自知之明的人物特点。

And Clara’s essay sticks the landing. We teach students to bridge past, present, and future in their essays. Clara does that: writing about crocheting allows Clara to end with a sophisticated discussion of how her family’s history informs not just her current life, but her future college goals.

本文内容来自哈佛大学 The Harvard Crimson

参考来源：https://www.thecrimson.com/topic/sponsored-successful-harvard-essays-2024/

文中插图来自网络

中文翻译 | Ning

排版 | Luhan

设计 | Luhan&大塽

审核 | Ning